“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6) “’For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord” (Malachi 2:15-16)
Some people argue that divorce is not real or possible. But it certainly is real and possible. Otherwise God would have not told us not to do it! He would have said, “Man CANNOT separate” instead of “let no man separate.” It takes TWO people, with the grace and help of God, to make a marriage succeed. It only takes ONE person to destroy it. Of course, many marriages end in divorce because one spouse (often both spouses) begins to behave with such intense selfishness and self-centeredness that he or she emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and perhaps even physically “leaves” his or her spouse, destroying the covenant. But God has built us in such as way that divorce is always far more painful than we can imagine. Two people who had once become one, are now being ripped apart. Of course, it is not just the obtaining of legal papers of divorcement that rips them apart; it is the sin that has been tearing apart the marriage—sometimes for years—on the part of one, or perhaps both, of the spouses.
But the point is that since God hates divorce, and since divorce causes so much pain to so many people, a couple must commit to doing everything in their power to make sure it doesn’t happen. One person cannot do it alone. This is far more than just saying, “No matter what, we won’t get a divorce.” It means living in such a way and behaving in such a way with each other that divorce becomes unthinkable! Sadly, many couples experience “divorce” even though they remain legally married. And remember, it is not enough for one spouse to commit to make the marriage work. It takes two—with the Lord at the center. Preventing divorce is far more than a commitment not to do it. It is the result of a godly husband and a godly wife living with each other day in and day out according to the wisdom and commands of the Lord.
Copyright 2005 Steve Hall
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Biblical Principles for Marriage #6 Sexpectations
“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” (1 Corinthians 7:4)
This verse implies that both spouses must discuss and agree with each other about sexual issues. She belongs to him. BUT he belongs to her! The husband and wife must see this as an opportunity to understand each other, learn to be giving and generous to each other, and learn to be patient with each other. If one spouse (either one!) behaves selfishly in this area, there will be massive problems in the marriage. We recommend that you find a good Christian book that goes into detail about the sexual issues in marriage and read and discuss it together
This verse implies that both spouses must discuss and agree with each other about sexual issues. She belongs to him. BUT he belongs to her! The husband and wife must see this as an opportunity to understand each other, learn to be giving and generous to each other, and learn to be patient with each other. If one spouse (either one!) behaves selfishly in this area, there will be massive problems in the marriage. We recommend that you find a good Christian book that goes into detail about the sexual issues in marriage and read and discuss it together
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Biblical Principle for Marriage #5 Get an Understanding
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:7)
As husbands, we need to get all the knowledge and understanding we can of our wives. This would include studying carefully what others have learned about the natures and differences between men and women and how those differences affect our marriages. Husbands must realize that wives are more easily hurt—and make decisions in light of that understanding. When we do realize that we have said or done something that has hurt our wives, we must be humble enough to admit our wrong and ask for forgiveness. Husbands must learn to “honor” their wives. Each husband can discuss with his wife the kinds of things he might do to help her feel honored. It’s also interesting that God warns us here that He is so serious about our being wise husbands, that if we ignore Him at this point, it will definitely mess up our fellowship with Him! At that point, God is saying, in effect, “First, you go do everything in your power to get things right with your wife. Then you come and talk with Me!”
As husbands, we need to get all the knowledge and understanding we can of our wives. This would include studying carefully what others have learned about the natures and differences between men and women and how those differences affect our marriages. Husbands must realize that wives are more easily hurt—and make decisions in light of that understanding. When we do realize that we have said or done something that has hurt our wives, we must be humble enough to admit our wrong and ask for forgiveness. Husbands must learn to “honor” their wives. Each husband can discuss with his wife the kinds of things he might do to help her feel honored. It’s also interesting that God warns us here that He is so serious about our being wise husbands, that if we ignore Him at this point, it will definitely mess up our fellowship with Him! At that point, God is saying, in effect, “First, you go do everything in your power to get things right with your wife. Then you come and talk with Me!”
Monday, July 5, 2010
Get Help With Your Marriage by Acting Like Newlyweds - Save Your Marriage Now!
By Lucy Morgan-Rowe
Do you need help with your marriage? Do you want to have a more loving and affectionate relationship? Do you want to feel less stress? Do you want to worry less and laugh more? Do you wish you could go back to acting like newlyweds?
Of course you do. Who doesn't? You wouldn't be reading this article if you didn't want help with your marriage. And that's great. It's easier to try to save your marriage and make your relationship work now, even if some cracks are showing, than it would be to pick up the shattered pieces and try to glue it back together.
To begin, think back to when you were newlyweds. With the possible exception of children, what's really changed between then and now?
When you first got married, you likely had money troubles, demanding jobs, chores, and other forms of stress and time-eaters. And yet, back then, you made time for each other and acted like lovers and friends and not like the battling Bickersons or worse. It's possible that now you may be so indifferent that you don't even care enough to fight with each other. Instead, you're just two people that share responsibilities and share a house and maybe, just maybe, share a bed. Other than that, it would be hard to see any resemblance between the couple you are now and who you were as newlyweds.
Again the question is...what's changed?
What's changed is you. Somewhere you've allowed your love affair to slip away.
Of course the newness of your relationship may have faded over time, but why did everything else have to fade? The answer, of course, is that it didn't. But here's the bright light at the end of the tunnel. You can turn the clock back and act like newlyweds again. Seriously! Here's all you have to do to help your marriage.
1) Review your priorities and move each other to the top of the list. You'll still do your jobs, you'll still take care of your children, and you'll handle all of your obligations. But if you share those duties and make each other a priority, then everything won't seem so overwhelming and it all will be less stressful because you're sharing it together.
2) Schedule time together - alone time. If money's tight, make arrangements with another couple in a similar situation to watch each other's kids every week or so. Go out. Stay home. It doesn't matter what you do, just spend some alone time. However, when you're together you must forget about the bills, the family, your jobs and anything else that would take you out of the mindset of newlyweds.
3) Say "I love you" at least once a day and mean it. Say it out loud. Say it at unexpected times. Say it often and sincerely.
4) Kiss and repeat. Not that perfunctory kiss you may give each other as you head out the door, but a real, sweet, tender kiss.
5) Touch more often. Purposely brush up against each other as you pass in the hall. Stroke a face. Caress a back. Hold hands. It's amazing what a simple touch can do to renew the fire in your relationship.
6) Do chores together. There's no reason that the wife has to do the housework while the husband does the yard work. Do it together. It will all get done but you'll be doing it together instead of in separate parts of your home.
7) Laugh more, fight less. Find the humor in situations. There is something funny in almost every situation. You just have to look for it.
8) Be kind to each other and practice the Golden Rule.
9) Respect each other.
10) Surprise each other.
11) Return to the person you were when you first got married.
If you really want help for your marriage, you'll do what's necessary to start acting like newlyweds again. It may feel strange at first, but before you know it, couples will be looking at you and wondering, "Why can't we act like that?" Start today. You may start a trend. And wouldn't that be a much nicer way to live.
Lucy Morgan-Rowe is the main writer of save my marriage.com a marriage site that discusses ways on how to Save Marriages that are on the brink of divorce.
For more great advice and marriage tips, be sure to visit us on the web at our help with marriage page.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucy_Morgan-Rowe
Do you need help with your marriage? Do you want to have a more loving and affectionate relationship? Do you want to feel less stress? Do you want to worry less and laugh more? Do you wish you could go back to acting like newlyweds?
Of course you do. Who doesn't? You wouldn't be reading this article if you didn't want help with your marriage. And that's great. It's easier to try to save your marriage and make your relationship work now, even if some cracks are showing, than it would be to pick up the shattered pieces and try to glue it back together.
To begin, think back to when you were newlyweds. With the possible exception of children, what's really changed between then and now?
When you first got married, you likely had money troubles, demanding jobs, chores, and other forms of stress and time-eaters. And yet, back then, you made time for each other and acted like lovers and friends and not like the battling Bickersons or worse. It's possible that now you may be so indifferent that you don't even care enough to fight with each other. Instead, you're just two people that share responsibilities and share a house and maybe, just maybe, share a bed. Other than that, it would be hard to see any resemblance between the couple you are now and who you were as newlyweds.
Again the question is...what's changed?
What's changed is you. Somewhere you've allowed your love affair to slip away.
Of course the newness of your relationship may have faded over time, but why did everything else have to fade? The answer, of course, is that it didn't. But here's the bright light at the end of the tunnel. You can turn the clock back and act like newlyweds again. Seriously! Here's all you have to do to help your marriage.
1) Review your priorities and move each other to the top of the list. You'll still do your jobs, you'll still take care of your children, and you'll handle all of your obligations. But if you share those duties and make each other a priority, then everything won't seem so overwhelming and it all will be less stressful because you're sharing it together.
2) Schedule time together - alone time. If money's tight, make arrangements with another couple in a similar situation to watch each other's kids every week or so. Go out. Stay home. It doesn't matter what you do, just spend some alone time. However, when you're together you must forget about the bills, the family, your jobs and anything else that would take you out of the mindset of newlyweds.
3) Say "I love you" at least once a day and mean it. Say it out loud. Say it at unexpected times. Say it often and sincerely.
4) Kiss and repeat. Not that perfunctory kiss you may give each other as you head out the door, but a real, sweet, tender kiss.
5) Touch more often. Purposely brush up against each other as you pass in the hall. Stroke a face. Caress a back. Hold hands. It's amazing what a simple touch can do to renew the fire in your relationship.
6) Do chores together. There's no reason that the wife has to do the housework while the husband does the yard work. Do it together. It will all get done but you'll be doing it together instead of in separate parts of your home.
7) Laugh more, fight less. Find the humor in situations. There is something funny in almost every situation. You just have to look for it.
8) Be kind to each other and practice the Golden Rule.
9) Respect each other.
10) Surprise each other.
11) Return to the person you were when you first got married.
If you really want help for your marriage, you'll do what's necessary to start acting like newlyweds again. It may feel strange at first, but before you know it, couples will be looking at you and wondering, "Why can't we act like that?" Start today. You may start a trend. And wouldn't that be a much nicer way to live.
Lucy Morgan-Rowe is the main writer of save my marriage.com a marriage site that discusses ways on how to Save Marriages that are on the brink of divorce.
For more great advice and marriage tips, be sure to visit us on the web at our help with marriage page.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lucy_Morgan-Rowe
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Biblical Principle for Marriage #4 Unconditional Love
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,” (Ephesians 5: 25-29)
A selfish, self-centered, demanding husband can also destroy a marriage. When a husband convinces his wife that he loves her with an unconditional, selfless kind of love, it makes it very easy for her to defer to his leadership. Jesus sacrificed Himself for His bride, the church. Husbands are to love their wives with that same kind of self-sacrificial love. This means more than just being willing to die for our wives. It means sacrificing things, day-by-day, that we might prefer to do but that would not be in the best interest of our wives. Of course, just because a husband loves his wife, doesn’t guarantee that his wife will always quickly reciprocate. Remember the analogy of Christ and the church. Jesus is always loving. But sometimes those whom He loves do not respond with a submissive deference to Him like we should. He just keeps on loving us
Copyright 2005 Steve Hall
A selfish, self-centered, demanding husband can also destroy a marriage. When a husband convinces his wife that he loves her with an unconditional, selfless kind of love, it makes it very easy for her to defer to his leadership. Jesus sacrificed Himself for His bride, the church. Husbands are to love their wives with that same kind of self-sacrificial love. This means more than just being willing to die for our wives. It means sacrificing things, day-by-day, that we might prefer to do but that would not be in the best interest of our wives. Of course, just because a husband loves his wife, doesn’t guarantee that his wife will always quickly reciprocate. Remember the analogy of Christ and the church. Jesus is always loving. But sometimes those whom He loves do not respond with a submissive deference to Him like we should. He just keeps on loving us
Copyright 2005 Steve Hall
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